We are a month into the school year and already we are facing lots of decisions, some unimportant and some that are life altering. Our seniors are presented with the daunting task of what to do after high school. They just spent the last four years wanting to leave and now they find themselves in a peculiar situation of having to leave. Where do they go? What school do we choose? Our underclassman, mine included, are left with other decisions. Decisions like what to have for lunch, do I study an extra hour for the chemistry test, can I really get her to go to Homecoming with me? Although not as drastic as a college decision, getting the courage to ask someone to a dance is one of the more stressful moments in our lives.
Unfortunately, there is no class called “decision making.” No college degree that allows you to make the best decision. Making good decisions is not one skill but instead a series of tools and moments strung together. To build this toolbox we observe, ask, live, and repeat. We call on our heart and brain to make a decision for us and we end up with the middle man, the gut. We ask annoying question after annoying question to get as much information as possible. Then there is the act of living through the moment, often times its several of those moments. We gather information and from this series of events we are able to make more informed decisions. When we feel like we gather enough information we then explore the internet. Google search after google search, article after article, we look for that one piece of advice that agrees with our own. This is known as confirmation bias.
Confirmation bias is the act of finding the information that is in total agreement with your own. Whether that be who to draft as the number one pick in fantasy football to what is the school that will make me into an NBA star. Whatever you decide then you will find someone or something that will agree with you. It gives us a peace of mind that the decision we are about to make is going to be the right one.
And finally if we still cannot decide we fall back to the dreaded pro con list. I recall when my wife was deciding on what law school to attend. She was admitted to over a dozen schools and we pulled out a piece of paper and listed pros and cons. Although the decision to move from South Carolina to attend school in Colorado turned out to be the right one, the dreaded pro con list had so many blindspots.
OK, so a decision has been made. We know what school to attend or who to ask to Homecoming. There is no way of telling if this is the best decision but from everything that has been gathered, we just have to follow through and live with the result. However, now comes the most difficult part of all. How do we finally execute the decision? It’s so easy in our head to say it over and over again. But to say it out loud to an actual person is something entirely different. From the movie, We Bought a Zoo, comes the best advice that my wife always gives to our children, “sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage…and I promise you something great will come of it.”
Decision making, there is no right way to make a decision but when you do then something great will happen.